Posts Tagged ‘writing’

Morphology of the Cork Board

Originally created 21 September 2002. The final project for Graphic Design I at the art academy I attended was to make a book. Not only did we have to write a story, we had to construct the book. The only limitation we had were the subject matter. We could either have an autobiography, or a story based on the rules set in “Morphology of the Folk Tale.” If you haven’t discerned from the title of this page, I chose the latter.

Read here.

Not angry, just annoyed

I usually go about my life assuming that people do not care about me or what I do. This is easy for me to handle because the amount of people who could possibly care account for such a minuscule fraction of the total population. Knowing this, I am usually content. However, this mindset assures me that I should not share with others what I am feeling, as they will most likely not care. If they do not care, then I would be telling them for the purpose of receiving attention. I do not care for insincerity.  This writing is intended for the internet with no target audience other than those who may stumble upon it and take interest. You don’t need to care. I don’t expect anyone to.
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Dream 02.11.27

This is the third time I’ve had a dream where Jorenko is Neo.

Neo was sent back in time to help something in the 1970s, but he was having trouble. Upon entry into the 1970s, he landed in some telephone wires. He struggled in them, but didn’t die from crossed wires. (I remember saying in the dream how stupid the director was for letting that pass final edit.)

He landed between two old cars as one drove off. The car that drove off contained Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. He was supposed to help them, and he just missed them. He chased after them across the parking lot, but didn’t catch up. He stood at the end of the lot, next to a brick building, and looked shamed.
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A Call to the Land Lord

I just got off the phone with Kurt, the landlord of our nice little shithell apartment.

I had called because of Maria.

Just under a week ago, Maria accidentally broke Ashley’s baking stone, an expensive piece of cookware. An honest mistake made while she was cleaning, and a replacement was to be ordered right away. Maria was directed to the website, where it was assumed she’d order it from. She didn’t do it that night, and she left for the weekend, so we don’t even know if she actually ordered it.
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On Reality

Gash: If you want to get down to it, our perception of reality is only a series of electrical impressions interpreted by our brain, so how do you know what you are seeing, smelling, tasting, feeling and hearing is actually what is there? Kind of mind-boggling, don’t you think?

Yengwa: No, not really. All of your arguments always come down to that same damn line from the Matrix. It’s not like you suddenly had a revelation and came up with it yourself. Besides, if what is real is defined by our brains, then how do we know our brains are real?

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Dream 02.11.10

I had a dream we were moving. Mom, Dad, and I only, though. Tony wasn’t there, but my parents were insisting on getting everything packed up right away. We had just locked up several things in a mausoleum, and my parents had taken special care to place traps with those things. Returning to packing, I threw my mother’s clothes with her stuff, and mine with mine. After everything as packed, I decided to make backups of everything on my HDD, so that I wouldn’t loose everything again. I copied everything to an external HDD and shoved it in my pocket.

Later …

I was returning home from a trip of some sort. As we pulled into “Greystone” where we were to switch to another bus, I called my mother. I was worried about getting on the other bus because it would be taking me further from home, making the drive to pick me up longer. Mother told me my father was already there, so I got in his truck and he drove off.

The direction we went wasn’t too the main road. The road we were on had a bridge ahead of us, and my father said he was worried about the darkness at the base of the bridge, because he couldn’t see if there were holes or anything. “I’m more worried about the whiteness at the top – I mean, does the bridge just end there?” I said.

Damned clipping. More of the bridge appeared as we went up it, but, sure enough, it ended. The truck makes a mighty leap into the air, and we watch down from the clouds for the place we’re supposed to land. We land, and start going downhill. After a while, we come to a visible edge.

We exit the truck, and, for whatever reason, Harry Potter is there, too. When the truck was shooting off the end, there was a far-view of it, and I could see the shape of the road-maze we were on. It looked a bit Sonicish: curly roads with red railing.

Harry Potter explains to us that this is a magical roadway, and we just need to walk over the edge, and we’ll be upside down, like David Bowie in Labyrinth.

Harry does it. It works. Dad does it. He falls. I cling to the edges and crawl over the edge. Harry Potter laughs at me as I’m about to fall.

Later …

It was RPGish, and one of the characters was an angel. Every time she said, “JESUS H. CHRIST!” when things weren’t going her way in a battle, Jesus came in, whipped the shit out of the enemy, and went away. This happened three times in the dream.

Later …

Tony Soprano and his crew were helping me get some money out of a guy. Prior to them showing up, I was at a bar, realized I needed something to finish a quest, ran over to this guy’s place. I wanted to purchase a woman, and he made me pay in advance. Later, he gave me a doll instead of a woman. I wanted my money back and he refused.

Even More Maria

She just walked in, looked in the mirror, said “Trust me, girl, I know.”

Then she waits a brief moment and tries to start up the conversation we just had wherein she didn’t detect I insulted her intelligence.

So I went on and insulted her intelligence, and she didn’t get any of it.

I explained to her how her generalizations are usually wrong and offensive, and she’s like “what generalizations”

To which I replied the pastor conversation (wherein she stated that any man of god who is not a Catholic priest is a man of the devil and will trick you), assuming all online communities are cults, among other things.

“I never said any of that!”

BULL FUCKING SHIT.

She denied every point I brought to mind, and she could only defend herself with actions that happened today. She said I’m being rude, but she couldn’t exactly place why other than I’ve told her to shut up today.

She said she’s PREFER me to interrupt her to affirm what she’s saying. I see that as ruder that asking her to not repeat herself. She would prefer that I smile and nod than counter her non-working mind’s views.

Christ, did this girl just totally ignore anything regarding free-thought when she was growing up?

She doesn’t realize how stupid she’s making herself look when she repeats herself constantly. I attempt to explain this to her. I tell her that people might not comment not because they don’t get what she’s saying, but because they don’t get WHY she’s saying, and saying so much. She replies that I should say something. Again, I explain to her that “I will not speak while someone else is speaking, it’s rude to talk ove-”

Maria: “Nonononono, yo-”

Me: “You’re talking over me right now, be quiet for a second so I can explain this to you. When you talk, you don’t breathe: you repeat yourself right after you just said it, and you leave no room for someone to comment without talking over you. And when I do take the time to follow your rules and comment while you’re speaking, you don’t shut up and you don’t let me add to the conversation.”

Maria: “Nonono, you don’t get it, I just want a ‘uh-huh’ or something.”

Me: “I give you that, but you’re too busy talking to notice; You’re too busy saying, ‘Trust me, I know’ five times to things you barely get.”

Maria: “What do I barely get? I mean, what is it that you’ve told me that I don’t understand? What is something you’ve explained that you think I don’t understand?”

Me: “My situation at the arcade (I get tokens from doing side work for the owner. She thinks I get tokens by flirting with everyone.). My relationship with Troy. (She assumes he’s my ‘Chicago Boyfriend’ while Jorenko is my ‘Out of Town Boyfriend’) My request to not be involved in your dealings with others.”

Maria: “It’s just my way of saying, ‘Okay, whatever.'”

Me: “Wouldn’t it be easier to say, ‘Okay, whatever,’ than pretending you understand and making your own false generalizations about it?”

Maria: “Generalizations? Wha?”

Me: *scoff, smirk*

Maria: “Okay, fine, whatever, I get it, you’re so rude.”

Me: “At least I don’t try to spark up conversation with a person who’s just going to to bathroom.”

Maria: “What, you mean this morning? All I said was hi and you just ignored me!”

Me: “I waved, I nodded, and I said ‘Hi’ back.”

Maria: “I didn’t see that.”

Me: “Then you continued talking to the TV.”

Maria: “I do that a lot.”

Me: “You talked loud enough, as if you were trying to comment to me about what was going on on the TV.”

Maria: “Nonononono, girl, I talk to myself while watching tv. It’s just commenting on what’s on, Ashley does the same.”

Me: “You usually make verbal comments when someone else is in the room, which would not be ‘all the time.'”

Maria: “It’s not like I talk to myself.”

Me: “You just said you did.”

Maria: “Wha? You’re rude! I just comment to no one about what I think is funny or stupid on TV”

Me: “So you enjoy narrating your thought process. I can live with that.”

Maria: “Narrating? What does that mean? You’re rude. It’s not narrating.”

Me: “It’ Narrating. Making verbal your thoughts or actions.”

Maria: “You see? You get it. And the other things I say mean that I don’t care.”

Me: “Alright, now that I know that, I won’t take anything you say to heart.”

Maria: “You know, you’ve got your own sayings and stupid stuff like that, too.” *leaves the room*

I dare her to name any. She’d probably say that my use of three-syllable words is rude. She’d probably say that I’m scary. She’s probably say I’m stupid for hanging out at an arcade. She’d probably say that I’m scary because I play videogames. She’d probably say I’m satanic because I spend time on the internet.

More Maria

Maria: (insert long one-sided conversation about nothing in particular in which she repeats herself five or so times) “… haha, you’re so funny, you’re like, ‘Ah! Our school’ and you hide behind the door, haha, the commercial for our school comes on and you’re-”

Me: “Yes, I understand that you find my actions humorous, but do you have to repeat it fifteen times?”

Maria: “Well, you look like you don’t get it, so that’s why I repeat myself, like you’re giving me this ‘huh?’ look, you know?”

Me: “It’s more of a look of ‘Why the hell is she repeating herself?”

Maria: “You take so long to respond, you’re like, haha, wait wait wait ‘this is why'”

Me: “That’s because some people actually take the time to think about what they’re going to say before they say it.”

Maria: “Haha, you’re so funny. What do you mean by that? I don’t get it.”

Me: “I figured it’d go over your head.”

Maria: (as I am walking into my room) “Hahah, you’re so funny, Amanda, you scare me.” (returns to watching Jerry Springer).

Dream 02.11.06

I don’t know about the plot of this dream, or even if there was one, but it was loosely based on Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (or however it’s spelt)

There were dementors chasing me (I replaced Harry) around. Herm- *cough* Ms. Granger was played by Ashley, and was obsessed with checking the mail. Snape was played by James from the arcade. Jorenko was Ron.

Odd dreams. Snow in it, too.

Before that was a futurama dream. Snow in that, too. Bender was forced to dress as a “nice” santa for X-mas, and he didn’t want to, so he faked his own death, then he and I went out to the movies for the hell of it.

Dream 02.11.04

I’m fairly certain this one started in the middle of something, because that’s where my first memory of it comes in. Some guy (I’m pretty sure it was Jon Dark) and I had just finished fighting of a bunch of armed guards. More were coming, and we had no chance to escape.

I look at him, saying, “It was nice knowing you,” and give him a quick kiss. I’m certain we are going to die, because I’m about to pull my trump card – I have one final attack that would get rid of all of them . . . and us. Jon is scared and confused, but I am calm. We are all going to die – why am I not scared?

A blue wave of energy rotates it’s way into the room, going through the walls and making it’s way into the room we’re in. I look at it and smile, happy to see this end. Jon freaks, asking what’s going on, what’s going to happen, etc.

He hides behind me, and starts kissing my neck.

And then we die.

The next thing my eyes see is an underworld. Not really a fiery Hell, but more of a series of underground caves that just happen to have lava floors in some places. It is, of course, familiar to me, but one element is not – Jon. How did he get here? More importantly, how do I get rid of him?

I explain to him what this place is – It is the home of the angels and demons, and this is where we are placed until we are issued a new body. He asked me what I am, angel or demon, and I explain that I am one quarter demon and (this part made me laugh when I woke up) my mother was half-Shikima . As I explained, I walked do different places, doing my usual routine, and Jon followed me. I remember him muttering, “why couldn’t you be an angel?” I laugh to myself and think, “I never said what the other 3/4 were.”

Whoops, time to regen.

Stabbin thugs, and other things I can’t remember, because stupid bitches talk loud and harm my brain and memory.

Maria

Maria just got back from her weekend trip to her parent’s house.

First thing she asks me to do is rat our anything Ashley said to me about her.

I told her to leave me alone. She was shocked. She then tried to convince me that it was alright for me to tell her anything Ashley had said about her. I again told her no, leave me out of this, and never try to bring me into this again.

And she left.

—-

10:53

When she left, she didn’t shut the door. She just returned to shut it, but only shut it half way. I don’t mean half-way as in she didn’t pull it closed, I mean it’s literally half-way. 45-degree angle.

Dream 02.11.03

Dream 1 was the steps to Muhon on crazy. Seriously. I dreamt the steps to Solitary. Might have something to do with the eight hours of Pump It Up yesterday.

Dream 2, I was in Ohio, in an apartment that resembled my Aunt Mary’s from a while ago. I was a bit angry at my mother for holding me there so long, and inside. After a while, she let me go outside, and I used a pair of shingles as skis, and chopsticks as ski poles. There was snow in the large parking lot, so I skied all around the place, and even down the mounds that the plow made.

But soon, it was time to go. I was happy to go, but still sad to have to stop skiing. I had to go because my train was leaving soon, and my mother just seemed to ignore the fact that we’d been there so long. I recall (in the dream) that mother had said, “Don’t worry about bringing your bags and ticket. We won’t be there long.”

It’s now about forty-five minutes until my train leaves, and we’ve still got to go home and get my stuff. (Mother has done stuff similar to this in real life.)

Time passes, and I’m at the train station. I rush to get my train. For whatever reason, Jorenko’s there waiting for me. We’re both going back to Chicago, I was just separated from him for a bit.

The trains resemble CTA trains from the outside, but on the inside, they’re two-floor things, with first class on the top floor.
Jorenko and I are seated in the rear car, with seats facing in, and behind us, the back window. For whatever reason, we’re permitted to decorate the area as we see fit. Apparently, it’s going to be a long ride.

About a half hour into the traveling, though, we hear a crash. Someone runs into our car and yells, “The lift has fallen through!” The train grinds to a halt, and we soon find out that the lift on a car near the front has fallen not only the small drop, but completely through the floor of the train. Everyone who had crammed into the small lift as a joke had died (crushed under the train) and they took others with them by tearing out the floor.

Before they evacuated the train, they needed it off the tracks. (I think these were high-speed, always-moving, never-delayed trains, so it was imperative that we be off the track, lest we take out the next train as well.) We rolled in reverse, then forward again, then in reverse on another track. After a while, each car was lifted, separately, by a large crane. This meant we would be the last ones lifted.

Nothing had happened to us, and we didn’t even see the thing that had caused our wreck. Jorenko and I started packing up our little decorations. One of the things I had was a little green Q-bert, and a Mr. Saturn figurine. I reached for them, and someone else reached for them at the same time.

“Those are mine,” I said.
“Nuh-uh, you probably don’t even know what they are!”
“Q-bert and Mr. Saturn.” I grabbed them.
“Let go of them!” the fat man-child said, and tried to get them from me. I pulled on them, and bit at him until he let go, then put the things in my bag. I had also kicked him a few times.

It was our turn to be lifted. Jorenko and I had buckled ourselves in again, and held onto our bags. The other people laughed at us, saying it was an unnecessary precaution, the cranes were perfectly safe.

The cranes worked by grabbing with two separate cranes each end of the car. The far end, where the people laughing at us were sitting, slipped out, and the slammed into the ground. They cried, were shocked and appalled that such things could happen to them. Had Jorenko and I not been buckled in, we’d have fallen face first from one end of the car to the other, straight into them.

We tried to keep from laughing. The fact that the other crane dropped us next helped us do so. We were off the track, so they just rolled our car the rest of the way, then let us out.

Well, fuck, we can’t go to Chicago yet.

Dream 3 somewhat stems from Dream 2, but all knowledge from Dream 2 is forgotten.

Mall time. Jorenko’s gone. I’m with someone I don’t know very well showing them around. I’m pointing out restaurants and stores, asking if she wants to go in anything, and she doesn’t. (I remember this mall from an old dream.) We get around the entire mall, and she hasn’t looked in anything. “Well,” I said, “I’m going to the arcade, you’re welcome to join me.”

She silently followed, and got in the VR machine. I choose my character to be one of Cassandra’s female body guards in Perfect Dark. Another player joins, and chooses a blonde buzzcut male, resembling the American ideal of a soldier, or Duke Nukem in olive drab.

We have jetpacks in the level, and I make full use of it. The other player and I have shootouts, per the norm of the game, but he takes to hiding under the platforms and shooting up.

Camping. Bad camping at that. The platforms are long and easy to get under from many angles. I sneak up behind him, under a platform, and take him out.

I quickly get out from under there and move up to a top corner of the place. It’s dark, he can’t see me. I can see the entire level, and I watch him check all the platforms for me. When he comes up from the final one, I blast him with a cannon ball.

The game goes on for a while longer, but it’s a blowout. I win yay.

Dream end.

Maria

“You’re my witness,” she says to me, and grabs my forearm.

I yank it back and say, “No.” She looks at me, confused. “I didn’t see anything. I wasn’t there for any of it. I’m not part of this, do not bring me into it.”

She was shocked that I wouldn’t agree with her.

Ashley vs. Maria 2

More on the roommate situation:

I was wrong about Maria trying to fight with Ashely. What had happened was Anna, a friend of Ashley’s, came over and tried to fight with Maria.

I could hear most of the conversation, and, basically, Anna was trying to fight for Ashley’s “rights” that Maria had supposedly violated. (things mentioned: Moving into the room, taking potato chips). When confronted with this, Ashley stated that she had no problem with Maria being in the room since, technically, her own room deal didn’t start until November.

Maria claims to not have taken the chips. I do not know either way, I have no knowledge of her actions regarding potato chips, other than that she doesn’t clean up after herself (or her friends)

Maria overheard Anna and Ashley speaking across the hall. (NOTE: The following information is based entirely on Maria’s side of the story.) Ashley had been exaggerating Maria’s “crimes” and whining that “I[Ashley] ask her[Maria] about the chips, and they suddenly returned to their place in the cupboard.” She also told Anna that after their “fight,” Maria was crying and saying how much she wanted to kick Anna’s ass. (I saw Maria directly after the fight and was there for the discussion she had with Ashley – Maria wanted nothing more than to get Anna out of the apartment, and to keep her from returning with that attitude. Maria was most definitely not crying.)

Yes, Ashley is apparently two-faced.
But, Maria is a liar. She one more than one occasion has lied about something to avoid responsibility. Cleaning up beer bottles, for one. She also claimed no dishes, even though she’s the only one that uses glasses. Ashley and I use water bottles or pop cans. Who’s not to say that Maria is lying about the chips?

When speaking to either one, I get the impression that they are trying to get me to turn against the other. Maria is more blatant about it than Ashley. Ashley will exaggerate to get a rise out of others, while Maria will say it almost directly that you should do something. Neither one can get me to do anything except bitch on Livejournal.

Kinda makes me wish that, after a few years of distance from these two, they come across my journal and see what they presented themselves as.

Maria’s Guest

Maria asks me if Ashley’s mad at her. I tell her I don’t know. She then asks if I have any idea what could make her mad. I mention the beer bottles that have been sitting there all weekend. “They aren’t mine, they aren’t Ashley’s. Someone’s got to clean up after themselves.”

Maria’s response: “They’re Mike’s.”

“So are you going to ask him to come up and clean up, or are you going to clean up after your guest?”

“No, listen, this is how it is. I only had two beers, and Mike had like, six,” She then explains everything that I just told her with with many useless words and little sense. She then declares that she can’t clean up because there’s no room in the trash can.

“So take change the bag.”
“I don’t know where to take it.”
“I’ll show you. Clean up.”
“Look, I only drank two…” and she goes on again about how much she drank.

“That doesn’t matter. Unless you want to set those bottles in front of Mike’s door, you’re cleaning them up.”

“Okay, mom.

“Those bottles have been sitting there all weekend.”
“They’ve been sitting there two days! Mike ordered Pizza and beer!”
“And you had Mike over on Friday night when I came back. You two never clea-”
“We cleaned that up! He was over Monday again.”
“Fine, fine, whatever, just clean it up already.” The bottles had most definitely been there since Friday, unless she cleaned up, and they made the exact same mess and placed the bottles in the exact same spots with the exact same amount of beer in them on Monday.

She comes up with another brilliant defense. “What about those dishes, huh? How long have they been sitting there? Since last week?”
“They aren’t mine.”
“But still…”
“Come on,” I said, and lifted the garbage bag I’d been tying off.

She followed me to the trash chute, all the while bitching about how she’d rather we talk to her face than bitch behind her back (which we hadn’t done.) She then got in the lift and took the beer bottles to Mike’s apartment.

And she’s 24. Fucking immature.

Dream 02.10.29

I don’t remember much, but it started with started with my confusion as to why there were several technology related things hanging on a wall in our apartment (though it didn’t look like my current one). I asked Ashley if they were hers, and she said no. I looked at one item, an indigo-cased photo printer with images saved onto it’s drive. All the images were of me and Jorenko. I looked at another item. Everything within it related to Jorenko and myself.

I walked outside, and then to a mall. Jorenko was with me. There’s some kiosk set up to assist people in learning to use computers. I decide to look at it. The tutors weren’t very good at their job. They refused to explain things in a manner in which the people they were teaching could understand. They kept using only the technical terms, and confusing people more. I stepped over and tried to explain something to someone so they’d understand it, and the suit-n-tie technician that was instructing him got pissed off. He told me to stay out of this and let him do his job.

Hrmph. How rude. I tapped him on the shoulder, and asked him his name. It was Alan Boihd. (Dunno the name at all in real life.) “Well, Alan, I’m Amanda, and I think you’re doing a pretty crappy job at your voca-”
“Well, Amanda was it? I think you should leave now.”
Hrmph. He turned to face his coworker and strike up conversation with him. I leaned over and whispered to him, “You’ll pay for your crimes…”

Jorenko then pulled me away, and I continued to complain about how rude it was of the man to ignore me, and how rude it was for him to ignore that the person he’s teaching isn’t understanding anything.

We walked to another a store and browsed the art therein. Jorenko accidentally stepped on one of the artworks while trying to look at another, so I quickly ushered him out, upset that he was such a klutz.

Into yet another store we went, and we bought some sunglasses.

While walking to the next place, we saw the side of a store called “M. Boihd, A. Boihd.” The Boihd brothers owned their own store, and the M was an artist, while the A was a tech. I felt the strong urge to cause their place much damage, but I held back.

It was near closing time for the mall, but my sunglasses weren’t fitting right, so Jorenko and I ran as fast as we could. We caught the store as it was closing, and the owners didn’t notice us in it when they locked up. Great.

Jorenko looked around for a way out. I set about looking at the merchandise. I found a bedroom setting, and turned on a tv in there. The TV blipped out rather quickly, and a monster jumped out of the closet. The monster pinned me in a corner between the bed and the wall and raped me. I quickly recovered and turned on the TV again. Jorenko walked in and saw I was watching an anime he’d seen. “Did you see the predator in the closet scene?” he asked. I just nodded.

Jorenko had come in to tell me he’d found a way out, but I didn’t follow right away. I instead grabbed a new cell phone and a new pair of sunglasses. Jorenko asked me, “What use are those things to you? You can’t change the settings yourself.”

While I was still looking for the glasses I wanted, I said to him, “You know, I realized something: this is my world and I control it.”

We walked outside, and I made a point that I controlled it by causing damage to the Boihd store without even touching it. I put on my sunglasses and walked off, but Jorenko didn’t follow me.

Maria & CTA

She knocks on the door and exclaims that she’s in a “fucking hurry,” then adds seven more unneeded sentences. She won’t shut up. I finally say, “Are you going to stop talking for a second so I can answer?”
“Well, it looked like you were thinking.”
“I knew the answer to your question before you went on explaining everything. Just be quiet for a second so I can-”
“Come on, Amanda, I’m in-”
“Quiet.”
“I’m ina hu-”
“Shush.”
“…”
I explain to her how to get to school using public transportation. She pays very little attention because she’s too busy asking me to repeat things I just said. So she finally comes to the conclusion that to take the 77 bus to the station and then the Dan Ryan/95 train to the Washington stop, and then back, it’s going to cost her $6. (It will only cost $3.60 if she’d paid attention properly)
“… if this is your first time on anything CTA, you probably shouldn’t be going alone.”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t seem to understand anything I just told you very well.”
“Believe me girl, I’ll be fine.”

I bet my debt she’ll get lost.

Dream 02.10.28

The first dream started with me in my room. It’s surprisingly clean, but when I walk over to open my door, it split near the hinges. Well, shit.
I shout outside to the others in the apartment, which includes Ashley, her friend Mike, Kara, and another white guy. I ask, “Does anyone want to explain to me why my door is falling off its hinges?” There’s no reply from Kara in the kitchen, or Mike and the other white guy in the living room. There is, however, a response from Ashley, who’s in my bathroom, looking at me through the massive holes in the wall. Apparently, someone felt the room needed redecorating, and they removed all the drywall from the walls there.
Well, shit.
I shut my door as best I can, even though it stays slightly open as the crack gets bigger, and the lower hinge of this two hinge door falls off.
I sit in front of my computer and start playing a game. Mike and his friend come in and say, “Hey, cool, [game]!” They take the controllers from me and start playing. I walk over to a corner of the room and hug my Jorenko, because he just happened to be there now. While I’m hugging him, Ashley and Kara come in. Ashley starts watching the game, but Kara goes to my dresser.
Kara complained a bit about how she has no money, no food, etc. I offered to go get her something that could help her. While I’m away, Kara goes through my drawers. I come back and see her holding my silver certificates (Dollar bills from before 1955). I yell at her to give them back, and when she does, I yell at her for taking advantage of me while I was being nice to her. The entire time, she’s silent, but I continue yelling at her, calling her a worthless cunt, stupid whore, thieving bitch, etc. She runs into the kitchen and locks the door. The little kitchen here doesn’t have a locking door, but apparently it’d been turned into a bathroom, because I hear her start up a shower. I walk back into my room, and the guys have invited over more friends. Ashley decides to point out to me that what I’d done is mean.
“And what she did wasn’t?” I reply.
“Good point.”
We turn to watch the guys play the game. Jorenko is standing behind me. I’m getting more and more pissed off that there are people I don’t know using my stuff, and being in my room as if they live there. After a while, I throw them all out of our shitty apartment.

Maria

Well, that was interesting.

She walks into my room.
“Are you up now? I didn’t mean to wake you up. Oh! So how was the party or whatever with your boyfriend? Good, blah? Huh? What? Are you awake? Are you sick?”
She finally shuts up long enough for me to answer, “I’m tired.”
“Oh, you scared me girl, you were like, speechless, okay, so I’ll just go now. Oooh, donuts!”
She looks at the box on my bed, and then at me, expecting me to offer her one. Then she leaves after a brief silence.
There were a lot more words on her part, but I don’t recall the exact ones. Just add a bunch of repetitious nonsense with no space in between sentences to allow another person to answer.

Maria & Sick People

[01:45] [Ettin> Please talk to me. I’m lonely.
[04:04] [Schroe[Sheepies]> You’re lucky. I’m going to fucking puke soon, so I’m wide awake. Not only that, Maria knocked loudly on my door a while ago for no fucking reason, and didn’t even stay in front of it when I got to answering it. I just sat for a half hour in front of the toilet, my stomach churning and the first thing she asks me, “Are you drunk? Have you been drinking?”
[04:06] [Schroe[Sheepies]> “No. I’m sick.”
[04:06] [Schroe[Sheepies]> Then she calls into the other room, when someone asks what’s going on, “She’s not feeling well; she’s been drinking.”
[04:07] [Schroe[Sheepies]> “I haven’t been drinking.”
[04:07] [Schroe[Sheepies]> “Oh.”
[04:07] [Schroe[Sheepies]> She calls into the other room, “She hasn’t been drinking.” Then she asks me if she can get me anything, water, juice, etc. All the while, her voice is at volume setting 10. It’s like she’s fucking yelling all the damned time. And she’s always saying inane things.
[04:09] [Ettin> Puked yet?
[04:09] [Schroe[Sheepies]> Nope. But the feeling’s there, and it’s painful.

Dream 02.10.22

After watching Resident Evil, ending at around 2:30 AM, and then going straight to bed afterward, I knew I’d have weird dreams.

I was in a theater, or auditorium of some sort. Someone on stage had just finished speaking, and now people were injecting themselves with something. Considering the intro info I gave, you’d expect it to be RE related, but no, it was the sedatives from American Werewolf in Paris, but it turned everyone into werewolves and/or zombies. Those who did inject themselves and found it to be harmful warned others before their minds were lost. I bolted into a bathroom, and tried to lock the door.

A woman inside warned me that it wouldn’t lock at all, and then asked me to take her baby away from her. She was turning into one of the monsters, and she didn’t want to harm her baby. I took the child and told her to go outside. I’d barricaded the door and hid from her, along with some others who weren’t yet infected. Thank god the child was silent.

There were apparently two entrances to this bathroom, and they were piling in the other. The guy I was stuck in the bathroom with tore down our barricade, and we ran out. We ran to where everyone else was running to – the exit.

When we got out, the man directed a group of us to his large house. Unfortunately, many in the group were infected, and slowly started showing signs of it. A woman’s face bulged and grew hair; a man’s eyes glowed and he tried biting people. Each time someone new changed, we’d move to another room. All this time, I was carrying the child.

I’m fairly certain I was killed, because the dream ended with me holding the child, looking up at a man, and him attacking me.

Dream 02.10.20

My brain is screaming at me. No, it’s not pain … it’s more like my soul is screaming at me.

[I remember enough about the early part to give you full detail on the location of everything I set down in the stall when I was using the bathroom in this dream, but it doesn’t relate to anything after.]

We drove by an arcade, and it was FULL. Everyone who wasn’t playing on of the many DDR/PIU/Technomotion machines was waiting in line for it. “We should have gotten the weed,” James said, though I don’t recall anyone ever mentioning weed in the dream. We drive around a suburb town, and I remember mulling over thoughts silently, like I normally do, of asking someone and playing out the entire conversation in my mind, making up a story about how person one would send us to person two, and person two would get angry and run over to person one and beat him up.

We continue driving, and we’re in Chicago now. We’re driving down an unknown street, looking for Broadway. I don’t know why, but James mentions Pemberville Road, so we start looking for that. We pass Madison without even wondering why we did when we’re on an E/W street, which would be parallel to Madison.

There was steep hill in front of us, over which I could see the lake. “He’d better slow down,” I think, “The lake is really close to the edge.” We start going down the hill, and the car speeds up. I don’t know if it was from James stepping on the gas, or from the brakes going out, but it happened, and we went straight into the lake.

The car went further underwater, faster than I would expect it to. I could feel the pressure on my chest from the water crushing us. I remember thinking, “Finally, I can learn what its like to die. No more speculation, this is it.” I closed my eyes, and heard James scream, “I’m ready to die!” How could I hear him scream, we were underwater . . . I grabbed his hand, and said, “I love you James. I want to spend eternity with you.” How could I have grabbed his hand, the water has crushed us . . . I reach over and unfasten my seatbelt. I can’t see anything anymore, just a reddish blur in the inside of his car. I push open the door, or I think I do, and leave the car.

Dream 02.10.18

A DREAM!!!

I don’t remember much about the beginning, but my parents were involved. We ended up at a Verizon store, and my dad was purchasing accessories for his startac phone. For whatever reason, he bought a bronze suit and tie to match his bronze phone. They bought me a gold phone with a new plan on it so that I had voice mail.

I said my goodbyes and walked out. I then stepped under the awning of a closed store and waited. I knew I was waiting for someone, but I can’t remember whom. My phone rang to indicate there was a new message. I flipped it open to look at it. As I was doing this, two black women drive up in a white car. One, in the back, rolls down her window and asks if I need a ride somewhere. This woman is someone I go to school with, though I can’t identify her. I tell her no, I’m waiting for someone. I hear an L train go by. “Oh, we’re right next to Jefferson Park,” one says. They drive off. (I’m fairly certain I’m still downtown, because the buildings are tall, and Jefferson Park is out in the ‘burbs)

Someone else stops by now. “Mike” shows up. I use the quotes because the guy’s name is actually Dan, and he goes to school with me. I say hi, an we chit chat a bit. I walk over to the other corner when we’re done speaking.

I start to listen to the message on my phone. Instead of it being a recording, it calls back the person who called me – Jorenko. I’m a bit surprised to hear his voice after I hear a ringtone that sounds classical (though I can’t place it now).

Someone across the street shouts, “Hold it right there, Michael!” I look up at “Mike” and see him freeze in his tracks in front of me. The shouting’s coming from a police officer across the street to my left. I stare first at one, then the other. The cop fires his gun, and I see the bullet slowly reach it’s target – a window above us. Only for a moment does it go out of view behind a green awning above the store. The cop fires two more times, each in slow motion.

Just as his partner is commenting on his success, fireworks go off. Apparently, the person they were shooting at had large fireworks in his hideout. The things flew everywhere, exploding in the sky, exploding on the street, breaking windows, destroying cars.

I curled into a ball, the phone to my ear, silent.

My Dreams Are a Bad Hentai.

The dream began with a woman outside hanging laundry. The woman looked to be in her early twenties. She had somewhat pointed ears, with straight black hair pushed behind them. She wore a white dress with a lavender bodice. Judging from the laundry that was being hung, she was recently made a mother. As she finished hanging her family’s laundry, she turned to the small ramshackle farming house she live in with her husband and infant son. The husband looked out the window at his wife while holding the sleeping child.

Then, they all died.

To elaborate, that is when the bombs fell. Explosions destroyed the home, the people inside, and the laundry outside. What was once seen as healthy farmland was now a leveled field.

Some time later, soldiers are searching the rubble for any survivors. Lifting a piece of rubble, a soldier finds that the woman is still alive, though injured. (Here’s the hentai part that makes my brain hurt. In every hentai I’ve seen/read, the woman ends up ENJOYING BEING RAPED.) The one who finds her tells another to hold her wrists while he undresses her and himself. The woman hasn’t got much energy left, but she still struggles. The soldier rams his dick into her, and the “camera” goes to a close up of her face. She screams with pain, but she starts to show signs of enjoying it.

As the soldiers are having their way with her, the camera then goes to another soldier in the distance. This one’s carrying a rifle, and quickly snipes the two that are molesting the woman. He runs down the hill he was on, and then to her side. He lifts her up easily and runs back to his base.

Once inside, he places her on his assigned cot in his own shabby quarters. She’s frightened that he’ll kill her, and she shouts at him in a language he doesn’t understand. He leaves her alone for the rest of the night.

In the morning, he presents to her a small basin with a sponge and towel. He places a new dress on a stool, and leaves the room. Taking the hint, she washes her self. (Hooray for “Shower” Scenes.)

While she’s washing, he’s in another room wanking, thinking of her.

She finishes washing and dressing before he finishes fondeling himself. She leaves the room, and searches for an exit. She stumbles upon the closet wherein there is a sniper.

(More reason I hate hentais) He’s embarassed, but she isn’t. She kneels in front of him and starts giving him a blow job. She swollows all of it.

Yeah, damn hentais ruin my brain.

New Roommates

I’ve got no problem that Ashley is a stripper.
I’ve got no problem that Kara’s a fucking lush.
I’ve got no problem that Lametria’s dumb as bricks.

I do have a problem that they think that because I have internet access, and they pay rent here, that they are entitled to use my connection without paying for the costs.

This is not Road Rules or The Real World.
They are not my friends.
They are not my sisters.
They share an apartment with me, nothing else.
I do not wish to spend time with them, ever.