Art by MeddygonThere is a fine line \ Between genius and madness. \ It is called timing.

Bitch Amy wakes me up by screaming about how she’s late for an interview.

I had a dream I was visiting home, and doing laundry. I folded a pair of socks, and stuffed them into my travel bag. I get dressed into my normal outfit, and put on a coat. Mom and I go somewhere, and drive back in a blue viper. She drops me off at Kroger’s with my satchel, and my Zim lunchbox. I walk around Kroger’s, and it’s suddenly ten times better than it used to be, it’s like a whole mall now, but all the cash registers are in the front. I walk to the back, where the Hot Topic is (in real life, there is no hot topic in Kroger’s) and it’s not there, just the leftover merchandise. Everything’s on clearance. I look for a new lunchbox to hold a digital camcorder I got from my grandmother (Nana has one, but I don’t think I’ll ever get it from her).
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For some reason, I just felt like all my dreams were like an episode of scooby doo

It was a Brazil type dream. I show up for work or something in this large, ornate room with some sort of statue at the center. I never got a good look at it. I was dressed in a long coat and a white swimsuit. Over the swim suit, I had a dress. I headed toward the public unisex bathrooms of the place, and tried to find a stall that had a working toilet. No luck. I went to go leave, but everyone had to leave by walking through this anti-septic pit. It was thick and gooey, and it looked just plain gross. People were in it, struggling their way through. There was a guy at the edge trying to get girls to go through nude or topless. I brushed him off and went through. When I got out, Jorenko was waiting for me. We went into the coat room to get our stuff. While he was searching for his coat and some other thing, I was wiping the goo off my coat and hair. He finally got his stuff, but decided not to wear his coat, even though it was really cold outside. Outside, there was a truck with posters all over the inside, and boxes of them, too. I stole a poster, even though I didn’t know what it said.
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I was sitting in a city square, listening to someone speak of a fair outside town, and telling use how to get there by bus. None of the people in attendance wanted to go by bus. Once the rally was over, we all started running. I ran much faster than everyone else.
While everyone was on this one road, I hopped up a bit to another road, and then again to another. The roads were on the side of a mountain, with trees between them. The top road, which I was now on, was next to a farm. I was distracted for a moment, and was hit by a car from behind. The blow tossed me toward the side of the road, where I grabbed at the fence next to me. I could barely move.

The fence was electric. I got quite a jolt from it, but the disturbance caught the attention of the farmer’s tomboy daughter. She came out and looked at me, she had long, blondish/brown hair, tied back. She was ready to call some form of animal control, but I spoke.
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This one was rather strange. All the people were drawn in the Batman the Animated series style, because that’s what it was, a BtAS episode. The Joker killed himself by jumping into a river. Things started to come up missing and other bad things were being done. But it wasn’t the Joker, he was dead!

I went searching around where the Joker took his life, and hooray, I found a secret entrance in the rocks. It was small , and you’d have to be pretty tiny to squeeze in, but I got in. It was part of the sewer system, and it smelled awful.

The Joker was hiding in a surveillance room down the way, and saw me coming. He greeted rather warmly, and kept me in the sewers with him for a while.
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This was not a good dream. This was a great dream.

Nickelodeon. They had just started a new game show, and I was part of it somehow, behind the scenes. The game was a “safer version of real life that educates children on the dangers of the world.” The dangers of the world being the demons and undead beyond the city walls. The children go in, choose a character, and begin playing Diablo II, though that is not what it’s called in the dream, as Diablo II’s world is their real world.

After a while, the market for the game skyrocketed, and people would pay (or be paid) to have their custom designs in the game. This was good, seeing as I was the artist. More money for me. After a few years, I grew tired of the secure job, and sought adventure.
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This dream was really cool.

It had to have been an RPG, because I kept seeing an overhead map to show my location. It had to be only a part of the RPG, because I was only in one location with a caravan.

They were stuck in their location, they had no engines to move their wagon trains. They would wait for trains to pass on the nearby lines, and they would use some makeshift satellite and hacking utility to contact the engineer of the train via telephone. Once connected to the train, they’d ask the engineer to stop, come back, and let them tag on the end of the train to get out of there. Most of the engineers would refuse, ignore, or outright refuse. One even said, “It’s against our regulations to pick up wagon trains, and it’s illegal for wagon trains to ask!” My response, (I was the phone jockey) Then have them arrest us – they’ll drag our wagons out with us, and we’ll get what we want!”
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It started with two miniature landscapes inside aquariums, for use in a science project. One was to show the effects of erosion as from natural water falling, and the other for man-produced falling water (such as toilets and irrigation). On turned out smooth, while the other turn out more natural and jagged. They filled with water, and the ‘camera’ zoomed in as it started to snow on the natural landscape, and I was swimming in
the puddled waters.

I swam up to an edge, and met with Jorenko, and he joined me in the water. WE SWAM AND STUFF! Then we went
into this mansion and it was cool and we slept. th’nd

Dream one:

Two cats at my grandmothers house . . . a black male, and a calico tabby female. Weirdies. Too long ago to remember more.

Dream two:

Bath tubs and cats drinking from the water?

Dream three:
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I was herded into a bus, and forced into a seat. I looked around, and saw several others who were forced in as well. I silently gathered my surroundings, viewed the people, and faced forward in my seat. It was a yellow-bus style set up with the seats, and there were a variety of people. In the back, I had seen a young black man, in the middle seats, several white boys aged 13 to 20. I was seated near the front, and behind me, a rather obese man in blue.

The bus went on for a while, and I could tell there was something wrong. Everyone else seemed to be content, as if there were nothing at all wrong with this trip. I remained seated, clutching my bag. I removed what appeared to be a drumstick from my bag, and stuck it in a pocket.
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It’s strange not being able to just get up and type right when I have the dream, but here is one from last night.

I was in a death match of sorts, it looked JFGish, mainly because I saw Tank-Lupus in it. There were obvious doors and such around this place, and one of the players mentioned that there’s secret doors around. Rather than look around to kill the other players, I searched for the secret rooms.

After a while I found one, and squeezed inside, only to find games. A billion video games! And a TV, and some consoles. I started to play. Playing games is how you got weapons and bonuses. I started with Sonic 2 to get the speed boosts, but I was interrupted.
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The last one was about getting home. My whole family was there. So were the Hobbits. Those bloody little bastards were startled easily and would attack me at every turn, and then apologize profusely. They would often trail behind, and would attack me when I was running back. It didn’t hurt much, kind like little paper cuts.

We followed someone’s advice and drove down a road, but the road was only railroad tracks. Bugger. We go back the way we came, and get on a train. Oops, wrong train. We found out it was wrong by riding it out of the playing field and going into the non-textured area of the map. Everything was white. We put the train in reverse and head back.

By now, we’ve given up on getting home. We hang around the train depot for a while, and another train comes. This one has crops on it. The man set to watch the crops is an elderly man, and he’s standing behind a pile of corn. We’ve all climbed up on the side of the crop-car now, and he asks one of us to hand him an ear of corn so he can taste it. My mother hands him one, while the rest of use scramble to steal as much as possible while he’s distracted.
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Something tells me that I need to play a racing game . . .

It started with someone giving a speech on the discovery of America . . . and how it defied their religions to have people living there . . . and that since no god has come down to punish them, there are no old gods. And with no old gods, there are no old demons. And Sauron blinks from existence. Elrond defeated Sauron with logic. Tee hee.

The convention ended, and it was time for us to play around. I guess we were irken, or something, because lunch was human worm babies. Madness!
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Gah, that was odd. I’ve only seen 5 minutes of Oni being played, but I dreamt about it.

The scenery was a factory of sorts, the walls of a purple and white blending hues . . .

It started with Oni running down a catwalk and knocking a guy over the edge of it midway. She runs to some hollow container and punches a few buttons, and then climbs on top by way of cloaked ladder. The ladder is barely visible, and we only know it’s there by the light shining off it slightly.

She slips inside the container through a hole in the top, presses more buttons, and steps out the door onto the catwalk.
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I had the strangest dream ever. Well, no, I might have stranger.

Couches on wheels. Two people, two couches, and endless stretch of road. (This could SO be a game). We were racing through the city streets at night, the other person was winning :(

The other person and I went to a store afterward. We picked partners and raced through the near-empty 24 hour Wal*Mart in carts. (Oooooo, another level)

We were kicked out, and we stole some cars . . . AND RACED AGAIN!

And the other person the entire time was BANE.

I had a dream about JHONEN.

I was at a convention, and he was there. I, of course, joined the massive throng crowding him to praise and ask questions. I finally get up to him, and his first comment is, “You’re small. You’re a very small thing.” I start to ask him something, and he says, “AW ISN’T THAT CUTE!” picks me up, and starts running. He sets me down somewhere, and runs. I run after him. I catch up with him and say, “RED JHONEN IS NOW IT!” and run. He chases. He tackles me, and says, “Blue Schroe is now it.” He keeps his arms around me so I can’t run, and we just sit in a random corner of the convention and talk. For some reason, I’m wearing a shirt with different fruit on it. He starts licking the fruit. I say, “Jhonen, this isn’t a lick’m wall.” He stops and says, “Aww.” I look up, and I say, “Jhonen, have I introduced you to my boyfriend, Jorenko?” and Jhonen was all sad-like.
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I just dreamed that I went to Taco Bell and they asked me to work gain, so I said yes, worked for an hour, (at night) and Jorenko ran in to take me away. We ran outside and ran into Matt on the street, and we followed him to Media Play, were he bought something, and we all left.

Then I started making a new campaign using the Darksun: the Shattered Lands game engine (even though that’s not possible) and Jorenko and I entered the game to test it out, and my Elf character died. (They can’t be brought back to life in AD&D 2e)

Jorenko and I met up with Queen Mew and went for a walk in the park, and then I posted the New Q (The dream occurred after the Q was posted) and Jorenko answered it on his laptop and Mew went to another PC to answer. Her PC was below mine in this place, so I leaned over the edge of my floor to look at what she was doing. She wouldn’t have seen me, but my necklace dangled over the edge.

Rar.

Per usual, several dreams. Most were too random to type.

I was at my grandmother’s house (but it wasn’t her real house) for a family gathering. Lots of giant donuts to eat.

Wait, perhaps it was my house, because I had my own room. Which had a door that exited to the outside.

I look out the window, and some bard is harassing my brother, a barb. My brother, the Axe barb. Heh.

I rip the screen in my window and start shouting at the bard to leave him alone, waving a sword at him. Tony takes the time to run off. The bard goes after him after I go back inside.
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Dream 2.9 –
“And you know what that means, don’t you?”
“No.”
“Well, I sure as hell don’t, because this is YOUR dream!”

Dream III

I was playing this new game that starred Luigi for some reason, and it took place in a mansion, but it was NOT Luigi’s mansion. The point of the game was to collect certain items to aide you win the final battle, which you could play at any time. The boss was a fire breathing ghost who was holding a little girl hostage in a room.
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Dream 1 – Pikmin topped tomatos.

Dream 2 – I was walking down a road, when I see people walking around robbing cars, so i turn around and get my car. I hop in and drive. They try to wave me over, I don’t stop, one jumps in the way, and waves his knife. I rev my engine.

He moves, and I drive on for a while. I get through to some corn fields. A group of villagers pile in my way, all brandishing some form of weapon. I can’t run them all over. Someone throws a cigarette into the cornfield and it starts to burn. the villager’s attention is diverted, so I drive on. I stop, park my car, and go back to help them.
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I had forgotten most of my dreams last night until I read Ozziepants Cafe, then I remembered a bit.

I was at a college campus. To get to a certain building, one must go down a set of stairs, under ground, then up another set of stairs into the building. Inside the dark room was a desk and books, and many other things that reminded me mansion basement in FF7. The bulk of the dream was a group of people trying to get into the room (I was in this group) while various other groups kept us out. Some of the groups were: The Knights from Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail, Rabid Christian Fanatics, FBI Agents, and the Mafia.

For some reason, I was always the only one who got through.
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Dream II

For some reason, TNG and I were at a hotel. I cut up a bit of food and threw it on the floor for the cat, but the cat wasn’t there. We did, however, see something grabbing for it, but not reaching. I look down at the floor, and my dog is pulling her excess fur from the carpeting with a bird-claw like paw – both her rear paws have become deformed. MADNESS.

Dream III

I can’t recall much . . . but at the end, we were waiting on a boat for a plane to get to us. “We” being a ghostly goddess – long white dress with dark black hair. There was a male, can’t describe him, me, a couple others, and some freaky girl.
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Dream, dream, dream a dream.

For some reason I was cleaning out my Taco Bell bag while at school, and it was in my old high school, and it was during one of Schneider’s classes. I hated Schneider. I know most people say they hate their teachers, but tell me – have you ever walked into a class KNOWING you knew more than the teacher on the subject they’re supposedly teaching you? People may THINK they know more than the teacher, but with her, I KNEW.

I was cleaning out my bag, and for some reason, the desks were the ones with open space under the surface, so you can stuff … stuff in it. I was stuffing the minimal amount into it, because I didn’t want to lose it, but I did end up stuffing some workbook into it, and some sports trading cards. For some reason I come across a cake in my bag.
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For some reason I was in my old trailer in Troy Villa. The main door was open, the screen door was closed. I was seated at a computer next to the door, and I could see the overcast skies through the door. Behind me was Mike Shapiro, on another computer. To my right, another person. We all worked feverishly to code something. People kept coming to the door and asking questions about Joe the Circle, and I would have to stop what I was doing to look in a guide to answer them.

At some point, the dream turns into me looking for a hat to buy to wear to a very snooty ball. I find a nice purplish black one. I show it to my brother.
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How odd a dream . . .

The bus came to pick me up for school . . . at my old trailer that I lived at when I was 6 . . . but I was the age I am now.

It was raining so hard, the bus couldn’t make it to school. The bus driver then took us to an alternate place, and dropped us off. The alternate school was the trailer down the road from me.

I go inside, and it’s Tiffany Flinchum’s house.

She tries to convince me to stay, but I beat her up and leave.

Ugh.