My current answering machine message:

“How are you gentlemen – All your message are belong to us. This an answering machine, not answering service. If you are calling for anyone other than Amanda, Ashley, or Maria, please hang up now. If you are a telemarketter, fundraiser, or anyone else wanting to collect money, we are all poor college students, so please hang up. If you genuinely need to contact any of the current residents of 802, please leave a message after the tone.”

If you couldn’t tell by the opening greeting, this is all in the voice of CATS.


The message clearly states that you should leave messages for Amanda, Ashley, or Maria.

“Jessica, this is your mother, that’s such a cute message! Tom’ll be calling right back to hear it! Happy Halloween!”
“Heh heh heh, so cute, Jessica. Happy Halloween.”


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