Things and Stuff.

A DREAM!!!

I don’t remember much about the beginning, but my parents were involved. We ended up at a Verizon store, and my dad was purchasing accessories for his startac phone. For whatever reason, he bought a bronze suit and tie to match his bronze phone. They bought me a gold phone with a new plan on it so that I had voice mail.

I said my goodbyes and walked out. I then stepped under the awning of a closed store and waited. I knew I was waiting for someone, but I can’t remember whom. My phone rang to indicate there was a new message. I flipped it open to look at it. As I was doing this, two black women drive up in a white car. One, in the back, rolls down her window and asks if I need a ride somewhere. This woman is someone I go to school with, though I can’t identify her. I tell her no, I’m waiting for someone. I hear an L train go by. “Oh, we’re right next to Jefferson Park,” one says. They drive off. (I’m fairly certain I’m still downtown, because the buildings are tall, and Jefferson Park is out in the ‘burbs)

Someone else stops by now. “Mike” shows up. I use the quotes because the guy’s name is actually Dan, and he goes to school with me. I say hi, an we chit chat a bit. I walk over to the other corner when we’re done speaking.

I start to listen to the message on my phone. Instead of it being a recording, it calls back the person who called me – Jorenko. I’m a bit surprised to hear his voice after I hear a ringtone that sounds classical (though I can’t place it now).

Someone across the street shouts, “Hold it right there, Michael!” I look up at “Mike” and see him freeze in his tracks in front of me. The shouting’s coming from a police officer across the street to my left. I stare first at one, then the other. The cop fires his gun, and I see the bullet slowly reach it’s target – a window above us. Only for a moment does it go out of view behind a green awning above the store. The cop fires two more times, each in slow motion.

Just as his partner is commenting on his success, fireworks go off. Apparently, the person they were shooting at had large fireworks in his hideout. The things flew everywhere, exploding in the sky, exploding on the street, breaking windows, destroying cars.

I curled into a ball, the phone to my ear, silent.

I’ve got no problem that Ashley is a stripper.
I’ve got no problem that Kara’s a fucking lush.
I’ve got no problem that Lametria’s dumb as bricks.

I do have a problem that they think that because I have internet access, and they pay rent here, that they are entitled to use my connection without paying for the costs.

This is not Road Rules or The Real World.
They are not my friends.
They are not my sisters.
They share an apartment with me, nothing else.
I do not wish to spend time with them, ever.

Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

In the great land of Geek, there were several senators and one emperor. The emperor was kind and generous. Most of he senators were vile and picky.

The emperor decided one day to bring in a new senator, Ass. Ass wasn’t liked by the people at all, and was removed. The senator seat was then given to someone the people did like.

Twat, another senator, decided that the emperor was choosing far too many senators, and tried to remove others. When his plan failed, Twat ran away.

The senators each sat on benches. Some senators needed to share benches, but Twat believed that each senator should bring their own bench, if they don’t, they shouldn’t be senators.

Twat later returned and pleaded with the emperor that the senators that cannot bring their own benches should be removed. The emperor promised to consider this. Twat returned to his senatorial duties.

Later, Twat moved his bench, and it was broken in the process. Twat could not live up to his own standards! He vowed to get a new bench soon.

A bench was needed, and a new senator came with his bench. Twat befriended this senator at once, hoping that he would be able to mold the new senator to his ideas. The new senator, Cunt, really didn’t care for Twat’s tactics.

There were now only two bench owners, Cunt and Fuck. Fuck decided that he wanted to be the only bench owner, so he constantly harassed Cunt, hoping he’d go away. Cunt instead pleaded with the Emperor to make Fuck stop.

The emperor didn’t want to do anything to Fuck, because Fuck owned the largest bench. Cunt decided to just ignore Fuck from then on, but Fuck continued his attacks, even trying to damage Cunt’s bench!

Twat smiled with glee at this. He then went to the emperor, to plead again that the inactive senators be removed. The emperor did not agree to this, and Twat left for many months.

During those months, Twat realized that he would never be able to own a bench ever again. He wanted to remain a senator, but how would he do it if it was against everything he ever believed in?

Cunt found out that he had to take his bench somewhere else in the near future, and told Emperor. He agreed to let Cunt go. Before Cunt left for good, though he was going on vacation.

Twat took Cunt’s absence as the perfect opportunity to get what he wants. Twat forged evidence that Cunt was an awful senator, and convinced the other senators of this. These senators then petitioned the emperor to remove Cunt.

Cunt returned from his vacation to find his bench had been destroyed, and none of the senators would explain what happened.

The Emperor, disheveled, approached Cunt, and told him that Twat and the other senators had ruffed him up and forced him to meet their demands. He promised Cunt that he could someday return to the senate, but for now, it was best to just let Twat and his gang have their way.

Several months later, Twat quit the senate, leaving everyone else to deal with his chaos. His minions are still in the senate, inept though they are, and he still controls them.

Many ages and benches later, Fuck’s bench was later broken by his own idiocy. A new senator, not under Twat’s control, was brought in. Twat went on a rampage, and was kicked out from even viewing the senate meetings!

The fucking bitch did it again.

Christ, she’s fucking stupid. She wakes up a full three hours before me, and doesn’t take a shower until the moment I get up.

Fuck it, I’m going to class late.

Update: The bitch gets out of the shower fifty minutes after she gets in.

I get in the shower 7 minutes after that, because she’s decided that she NEEDS to apply her makeup in the bathroom. (there’s 3 mirrors elsewhere in the apartment, yet she needs that one.)

I get in the shower, spent fifteen minutes in the bathroom altogether, including changing clothes.

I walk out of the bathroom, and the bitch LOCKED THE FUCKING BEDROOM DOOR.

So I wait another ten minutes for her to get out of there, so I can get my stuff for class.

Dammit, bitch, have some fucking consideration.

Candice fails to realize that we are not friends with her, we merely live with her.

Today, she decided to bitch to Jessica about me.

“I bet she just told Jake flat out that the bottles were mine, she probably didn’t even try to cover for me!” She says.

Why the fuck would I risk anything for that bitch? She seems to think that she’s done nothing wrong.

One of her excuses that she thought of telling Jake to get her off the hook for having 10 partially empty Corona bottles sitting on the counter was that she had a “bottle cap collection.”

…

One more thing.

Candace walked in while Jessie and I were reading my LJ, and Jessie asked, “Is there anything in there about me?” before we noticed she was there. I said, “Nothing bad.” Then Can chimed in, “What about me?”

ARG. “I’ve got stuff about everyone in there.”

“Can I read?” She asks.

“No, it’s my diary. I’m only showing Jessie the funny stuff.”

“Yeah, she won’t even let me read most of it,” Jessie pipes in. Thank you, Jess.

Can tries to read over my shoulder, but I keep the screen pinned to the Ninja Missions.

After a while, she gives up, sprays on a bunch of awful smelling perfume, and walks off.