They got a few things wrong in that first paragraph.

Last Monday, I went to the doctor because my back was killing me. For my lower back, he cracked it and all was good. For my upper back, he wanted me to start taking my muscle relaxants again. I stopped taking them due to breastfeeding, so now I just get to live with the pain and hope Tylenol will work.

Last Tuesday, I woke up feeling as if I’d swallowed barbed wire. I called off work and slept in. Eventually this great glob of blood and mucus came out of my nose, ( gross) straight from my sinuses. It came out while I was breathing normally, no coughing or blowing. I felt better for a while.

Last Wednesday, I went to work feeling one hundred percent better than I had on Monday. I had to leave early, though, because my son had a fever.

Last Thursday, the guy who sits next to me at work called off. I started having coughing fits. My husband stayed home with our son since he couldn’t go to day care.

Last Friday, I was having coughing fits pretty regularly. I felt fine, except for the coughing.

Yesterday, I couldn’t sleep through the night due to the coughing. I waited until my husband got up and slept fitfully during the morning.

Today, I’m up again for the same reasons, except now I have pinkeye.

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There are days where I don’t even monitor them. There are days where I only monitor and handle emergencies. There are days when I spend all day on them. Because I cannot dedicate my day to the customer, I will never “finish” their alarms, nor will I ever be “caught up.” I simply cannot get them a valid answer to the question.

Without an answer to that question, I cannot answer their next question. (Note: Today is not the first time they have asked me this series of questions.) “If you were able to monitor the alarms using [new software], how much faster do you think you could do the same number of alarms?” No baseline, no way to compare to other customers. Really. Can’t answer that question.

So they come up with other questions to ask that will eventually lead them to an answer, but as I said, I can’t give them percentages or hours of improved times because I SIMPLY DO NOT SPEND ALL DAY DOING JUST ALARMS.

I explained to them how quickly I caught up with another customer using Alarm Pro 1.1 when that account was handed to me a couple weeks ago. I spent 6 hours catching up on 400 alarms, 150 of which were valid, the rest junk. Now I spend 20 minutes a day maintaining that small list. But, as I never touched that customer before Alarm Pro 1.1, the information is not valid.

Those 400 alarms, though, would be around 12000 if listed using the software I do now for the customer they’re interested in. If I get 300 alarms a week for one issue, they’re listed as 300 alarms in this software. in [new software], they would be listed as one. I would have to go through one alarm instead of 300. They think this information is also not valid.

They asked me to come up with an estimate based on switching from Alarm Pro 1.0 to Alarm Pro 1.1. At the time we switched, I was not monitoring anyone using Alarm Pro because the accounts became defunct. I had nothing to compare. The continued to pressure me for an estimate, throwing out percentages as if it would prompt me to say something.

“Do you want me to just make up a number? I don’t really have data to compare. Switching [customer] to Alarm Pro 1.1 would be a definite improvement, no matter what, but I really can’t give you any guesses as to how much it would be considering how different the process would become.”

They gave up after that.

Seriously. Nothing to compare to. Not going to make up numbers here.

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I have learned in my life that it takes nothing to believe in anything. Since nothing is required for any belief, no proof can be attributed to it. This is why those who seek to prove that their belief is real, be it spiritual or urban legend, should be prepared to run into proof that it may not be real. Many people I interact with are religious. I have no issue with that, as structure and regulation are a major part in religious activities and I applaud responsibility. However, the mindset of those willing to believe in such a manner allows some to believe a great many things. Facts are unnecessary to them, and are unheeded when contradictory to what they believe. Rumors and hoaxes are passed around as truth with no verification. Personal opinion is repeated and exaggerated and touted as fact. One’s speculation is cited as evidence.

As this is not my mindset, I am often left wondering what would cause them to think this way. Is it a desire to be right at all costs? Is it so they can feel better, lying to themselves until they believe the lies? Are they so threatened by someone who most likely does not care that they will slander and libel strangers, acquaintances, and political figures? Are they waiting for someone to call them on it so they can pretend they have a personal savior?

I try to not take offense at things said or done by those that surround me. Taking offense gets little done and is a waste of energy. Most likely the one stating the offending words or making the offensive action will not see it as offensive. If their cultural experience has taught them that they are in the right, then they may assume that others will see them as being in the right. Expressing to them that you disagree with their standpoint and would not appreciate hearing it again is probably the best way to handle things. How far can this go, though? Is it right to ask someone to change their everyday actions just to please another person? Or is it better to segregate the factions so that the tension can subside? Is it simply best to ignore the offense and move on with life?

I struggle with these solutions and usually end up taking the stance of the third. My personal offense at something does not mean others take offense, so I will leave it be. I may complain, but I do not expect my comfort to outweigh someone’s way of life.

Responsibility and accountability are things that seem absent from the world today. I have met people who are not happy unless they are blameless. They lay no claim to their actions or decisions, instead choosing to cite outside influences as the reason behind any effect they cause. Their personal lives are never off, even in a professional environment. Their drama dictates their lives. Responsibilities are secondary to their demands of attention. They are not accountable because of something completely unrelated. And, of course, anything stating otherwise is clearly not directed at them. Everything they do that can be called incorrect is dismissed in their minds as a minor mistake that no one should even consider a problem. Unless, of course, they can find another person to pin the blame on, then the issue is restored to its initial size (or expanded). Too often I hear phrases uttered to lay accountability on no one at all, just a general lapse in the system.

I have also met people who, like me, take responsibility for their actions, and hold others accountable for their actions. I see no reason to take joy in this, however, and I do not go out of my way to see that every problem has a creator, every issue has an owner. In a customer-oriented environment, I prefer to see the client happy first, then we can find and correct the problem internally. Outside of work, especially in public limelight, accountability is left to a scapegoat rather than the actual cause. I do not approve of this, but I make myself aware of the facts (sometimes what appears to be the scapegoat is the actual thing to blame).

Too often people will assume that their way is the only way, or that their personal experience is the same as everyone else’s (in that everyone else is exactly like them). This causes issues for me personally as I do not feel this way, and can clearly recognize this. I do not share the hardships of others, and have experienced hardships of my own. I do not think there is much that is universally the same between myself and anyone I meet. As such, I fall victim to people who think that because I am pregnant, I am as confused, helpless, uncomfortable, or naive as they were. I have been given especially helpful advice unwarranted from people, but the majority seek to reassure me that everything will be fine, though I have never had doubts about this. I do not mind folks sharing stories of what they went through when they, or their wives, were bearing children. I do mind people telling me how I should raise my child as if I do not have instruction from elsewhere.

I do not think that many people want to be told that their personal decisions affect all aspects of their life. They believe that they deserve some special treatment, or some attention, due to something happening to them, even if it is happening because of them. This sense of entitlement has always bothered me. Employment and budgeting are the way to prevent and cure financial hardships. If they cannot afford necessities because they have not let go of the belief that they deserve everything they want, then I will not help them. I am in no way obligated to help anyone just because I have been fiscally responsible. No, I do not feel for anyone who isn’t.

I have been awake since 2am.

I truly despise being ill. Not only am I going to miss a day of work, I am mostly incapable of doing anything around the house. Back when I worked as a wage-slave drone at a grocery store, I was thankful of days I was really sick. I have problems lying just to get a day off. Now that I work somewhere that actually benefits from my attendance and productivity at work, I feel terrible missing a day.

They hired me on the lowest level and expected me to just answer phones. My technician training was meant to be a formality for when they eventually eliminated the Customer Service Representative position. When they realized that I actually retained and understood what they were telling me, they took me off their list of over-paid receptionists and gave me the title of Tech I and set me on my way. When they realized that the other Tech Is that were hired at the same time were incapable of doing as much as I did (I didn’t even try to over-achieve, and I certainly didn’t feel stressed over the amount of work I was doing and how much I was learning), they fast-tracked my Tech II training. The official promotion comes next April, but they have already moved the majority of my Tech I responsibilities to others. I’ve been in charge of training new Tech Is since February. I was hired in December. I had NO prior HVAC/R knowledge; I couldn’t even tell you how an air conditioner worked. Now I’m helping large retail companies save money on their energy bills by monitoring and managing their usage.

The CEO of the company that owns my company is coming to visit today. I was asked to go along with four people who volunteered to go to represent my department at the meeting. I didn’t want to go at all. It’s flattering to be selected to go, but I hate meetings like this. I hate things that prevent me from working. I like working, I like accomplishing things. Meetings with coworkers about the state of a big-box retail chain’s energy usage and how we can get them to save more is capable of accomplishing a hell of a lot (but not often). Meetings like today’s accomplish nothing in my immediate occupation.

And now I’ve been up all night, evacuating my innards at either end. The good news is that I don’t have to go to that stupid meeting.

Behold the open-index goodness.